He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
