I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
