I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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