This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
