I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
