Someone shit on the floor
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
