Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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