Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
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