My liver just broke up with me...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
