writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
