So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
