We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
