i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You need Xanax blowdarts
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
