You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
