I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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