I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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