i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
