What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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