hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
