And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
