Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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