i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
