I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
false alarm, still single
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