I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I still have a little drunk in my system
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
there is glitter all over my balls
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