You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He better not be in your backpack
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
