I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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