dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
