I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
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I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
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WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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