Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize