My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
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okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
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hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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