She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
