but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
