Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
