i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have tasted many bathrooms
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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