i don't like sucking hair
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
