he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
