That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
