I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
