I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
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I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
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by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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