"it" just moved
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
