I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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