You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
