i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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