I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
