they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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