So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
