it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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