We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
