ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
