i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize