At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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