wakey wakey hands off snakey
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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