dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
