the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
