And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
