I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
only you would photoshop your dick
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
