you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
