No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
