Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
