Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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