on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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