I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
