i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
