I hope mine doesn't look like that
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
